Bedbugs: Why Do the Gods Hate Me?!

**Warning: This post gets annoyingly rant-y towards the end. Think of this as emotional word-puking**

All of my clothes in black plastic bags. Sadness.

I know by now that essentially, I suck at blogging. But not without good reason! Why haven't I posted anything since April? Because I have had a long series of unfortunate events that have kept me rather busy. Don't believe me? This week, its bed bugs. Pretty much the pinnacle of my fears. Ever since hearing a This American Life Story on bed bugs in New York City and elsewhere, I've been paranoid.

So, imagine my horror when last night a bug skittered across my keyboard. At first I thought the god***n cat had gotten into my room again and finally given me fleas. Nope. Worse than that--bedbugs. Hurray! What I thought had been mosquitoes eating me alive for the last month were actually lentil-sized bed bugs. I could have puked right then and there.

Look what the cat dragged in. Almost as if to add insult to injury, I found this beauty on the chair outside, right after having discovered the bugs in my bed. Thanks for that, Cat.

Luckily, there were just a few on the corner of my mattress, so it didn't look like a full fledged infestation--yet. So, I stripped my bed apart (cried a little), found a clean sheet in my closet (cried a little more), and made a bed on the couch.

I was pretty furious. This year has been full of growing and stretching experiences to say the least, but lately, the minor annoyances and costly mistakes have been adding up. I wouldn't say I'm reaching a tipping point, but I will throw my mattress off the balcony if the landlord refuses to replace it. I'm not kidding. Seriously, I'm not.

Bed of Horrors

Living abroad is fun, exciting, and usually at least interesting. But lately, its starting to just feel like 'life.' Which is good, really. The mystique of traveling has worn off a bit. I laugh when I see the super-filtered National Geographic-like pictures that litter Pinterest and travel blogs. I'm not saying the world isn't beautiful, and I still get a happy and wonder-filled feeling inside when I see orange robed monks and golden peaked temples.

But when I see Ray-ban clad hipsters wearing tank tops and harem pants high-fiving street children, I inwardly roll my eyes. The poverty I see around me on a daily basis no longer makes me feel gritty and adventurous. It just makes me sad. Not that it didn't before, don't get me wrong! But the feeling of "Oh my god, I'm standing next to a real corrugated tin roof shack! How crazy is it that I'm here right now?" has worn off a bit.

When it first began, I didn't really want to go out and see the nightlife like I normally do. I just felt suspicious and super aware. Suspicious that every older male foreigner I met was a sex-pat. Suspicious that every dressed up Cambodian girl was being prostituted. Suspicious that every small child on the street was being taken advantage of in some way (begging, etc). And its not like my suspicions were unfounded. But I guess to get by without getting depressed, you have to turn it off, just a bit.

Which of course makes you feel guilty.

And then you get bed bugs! And a street cat comes into your house and pees in the kitchen. Or you feet are attacked by biting ants as you open the padlock to your apartment's gate. Or your water is shut off, for no reason. And then there's a huge protest over election fraud.

It just gets to me sometimes, I guess.

And I know I should feel immensely lucky--because I am! That fact is not lost on me. Every time I walk to the store and watch the neighbor kids playing street hockey with their sandals and think about the nice toys I had as a kid and didn't even play with, I feel lucky. And guilty. Its like a seesaw: I'm pissed that my internet is out, then I remember some people don't have electricity, then I feel bad, then I get bed bugs.

Argh! Sorry for the rant.

Evil-rapist cat planning his inbred army's next pee-attack.

So anyway, tomorrow I am spending my Sunday attacking the whole apartment with a can of Raid and baking all my clothes in black plastic bags placed in the sun. Oh wait, tomorrow's supposed to be cloudy. Like, why? C'mon Phnom Penh! Work with me a little!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend.